From 1987 to 1989, during my high school years, I had a habit of stopping by my Grandma's house late at night on the weekends to visit with him. Ok, I admit I often showed up with some of my buddies or maybe some girlfriends to try and bribe him into buying us beer. If he did, we would buy him a six pack of his beer of choice- 'Milwaukees Best', which ironically was THE WORST. Don't believe me? Go taste it. Uncle Dan always proclaimed "I don't drink nothing but the best" as he grinned and pointed to his can of beer. 
Now just to backtrack, my earliest memory of him traces back to a time when he had a black and gold Trans Am. Yes, just like the one Burt Reynolds drove in "Smokey and the Bandit"! Hey, it was the 70's and that was the coolest car anyone could have. Still bad ass in my opinion. I still remember one time sitting in the back seat terrified with my heart racing fast as he sped so fast downhill that I was sure we were going to crash! I nearly peed myself and I don't recall wearing a seat belt either -- how times have changed. Of course, he was smiling and laughing the whole time. Back then he had a good paying job at John Deere, a wife, and a son named Christopher. I don't know all the details of how he lost his job, divorced, and eventually lost contact with his son, and at this point it doesn't really matter. I only bring it up because there was one night when I was hanging with him and we got to talking about life a little more seriously than we normally would. It was probably midnight on a Saturday and he had made some of his infamous popcorn. This is popcorn he made on the gas stove in a pan with oil and popcorn kernals-- he had to shake the pan as it was popping. Old school popcorn, none of this microwave popcorn or air popped crap. He than would get a paper grocery bag and roll the sides down a little bit, dump the popcorn in, douse it in salt and melt a whole stick of butter (maybe two) and drench that popcorn, and shake it up. You would see the patches of wetspots thru the outside of the bag from the oil or butter. This popcorn was legendary 'Dan the Man' popcorn and hard to replicate.
As we talked that night he began sketching pictures and told me about how he used to draw back when he was in High School. I watched and saw his drawings come to life, he actually was pretty damn good and I had no idea he had that talent. We continued chatting and as usual I was laughing at one of his many cut downs or jokes. He had a knack for saying the right thing at the right time to make you just crack up laughing.
But, for a few moments on this night our conversation changed as he got a little more serious. He confided in me about how much he missed his son and how he would do anything to have another chance to see him again. I could see he had a deep longing for a relationship with Christopher. All the while, he was still drawing away as he was talking to me about all of this. I remember thinking man maybe those days of him cruising in that Trans Am were some of the best days of his life. But I knew he had good times after that, because all the family holidays and get togethers at Grandmas- not to mention the 85' Bears Superbowl, were all good times too. Then again all of those things may be fine but still do not erase the feelings or depression involved with life situations. We all learn that as we get older.
Alright stop, it is not all grim, really our conversation did not stay too serious too long because Dan the Man didn't roll that way.
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| DAN THE MAN PHOTOBOMB |
He was the nickname king...I think he played a hand in giving his nieces and nephews alot of thier nicknames, and there were so many of us Bubbers, Boo, Coo, Head, Boy, Cheekamokes, Larsh,Doo Doos, City,--they all know who they are. He even nicknamed a few of the girls I took over on the weekends, Kate was 'kitty kat' and Toni was "lips". If he didn't have a nickname for you he probably just called you a dork! My buddies used to call him "Cheech" because he reminded them of Cheech from'Cheech n Chong'.
Most of the time he would be the first person you saw walking into Grandma's back door. Crouched down with his head looking out the window, he'd greet you with a snide comment or cut down that would make you both laugh-- all out of love, the way families love. I remember my mom would make him one of his favorite dishes for his birthday-- Meatloaf. Uncle Dan had a personality that would just bring smiles to everyone because he was so damn funny and quick with the one liners or comebacks. I still remember when he used to call my house and say "where's your fat mom at?" and then he would chuckle." Or he would say something to make fun of me and I'd laugh at myself. It was common for him to have one of my cousins go get a beer for him from the fridge and after they handed it to him, instead of saying thank you, he might say "okay, get outta my face" and we would all laugh. All of us boys remember receiving the bullet from him! (ouch)
With so many of his brothers and sisters having kids, he took care of most of his nephews and nieces at one time or another taking on babysitting duties so we all have our "Dan the Man" memories.
The tragic loss of our cousin Alisha tore him up inside and a few years later he was was stricken with cancer.
I remember my Aunt Anna and I drove from Texas to visit him in the hospital. A few weeks after I got back he passed away and I wasn't able to go return for his funeral.
I often wonder how cool it would be to have him here still, so he could see how everyone is now all grown up with kids of our own. To all my younger cousins who weren't lucky enough to meet 'Dan the Man', you would have loved him. He was a special guy that always made you laugh. I guarantee you he'd have a nickname for you too. Well, he probably has one waiting for you in heaven. Get ready.
