A BETTER WORD THEN THE WORD BETTER

SLEEP ISNT FOR ME

SLEEP ISNT A NEED
I CHASE IT BUT IT SLIPS AWAY

TRIED IT ALL , TRIED EVERYTHING
GIVING UP, ITS NOT WORTH THE CHASE

TIME IS RUNNING OUT
THE CLOCK IS TICKING 
I'VE LOST ALL CLOUT

I'VE LOST THE DRIVE 
THE GOAL 
THE REACH
I'VE LOST THE WORDS 
THE HEART
I'M CHEAP
I'M LOST
I'M DESOLATE
I'M CROSS
I'M MISSING
SOMETHING IS MISSING FROM ME
IT'S GONE
UNREPLACED
SOMETHING KNEW MUST GROW TO FILL THE SPACE
SOMETHING BETTER

A BETTER WORD THEN THE WORD BETTER

HERE IAM
NOT LIKE THE OTHERS
NOT VAIN 
JUS SAYING
NOT LIKE THE OTHERS

WHY HASNT IT WENT AWAY
I'VE TRIED
WORN HATS
WORN POLOS
BEEN POLITE
TRIED PILLS
TRIED LOTIONS
TRIED REACHING FOR PROMOTIONS

ALL CAPS 
BIG DEAL 
JUST LETTERS THAT ARE LARGER
DOES IT MAKE IT MORE DIFFICULT TO READ
ANY HARDER

CHEAP WAY TO GET A RHYME
BUT MY WRITING IS SO DESOLATE

THESE ARE DESOLATE TIMES.

NEED A WORLD THAT IS BETTER

NEED A BETTER WORD THAN THE WORD BETTER


NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ---SOMEONE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND
THERE IS NOBODY  
NOT CHILD 
WOMAN
OR MAN

Come back 2 me

It's been a while since we first met, 
                             It's been a while since our fingers intertwined
Where have you been?
 What happened that made you stay .....afar so long?

What was thier name?, Oh wait, am I wrong?
Did something change? Did something not taste the same? 
Can't stop the pain?
Don't u know prayers and pills don't exactly work the same.

You used to be a certain way, but now your gone----- too far gone.
Trying to drive yourself insane?
If they only knew how much you hiding and why


And now it's spilling over  and spreading like a virus or cure gone wrong.
Where have you been? Who has you hostage this time?
Wont you let go? U need to  let It go sometimes.
When was the last time , you were living naturally.....drug free.
Now I know where you've been.  in that haze   that foggy place.
Come back I say  , come back 2 me.

Now

It's that voice inside me that says I'm not good enough - I've done wrong -- Wasted so many years -- 

My talents long gone - 

Anger and regrets those from the past Still follow me-- still last.

 Grow up get over it, be better -- do something amazing -

Change lives.

Matter.  

 I used 2 be fatter (did that bring u laughter?) . 

Some days I feel better -

 Trust God , do I ever? 

What's love? Not just a word but an act--a gesture, a deed. Giving your time. 

Not money or gifts , tho those can still be.

My time is running short 

so NOW is the time . 

NOW is every second of every hour of every life.

Live in the NOW .

Be better, be the example of the why and the how. Be the NOW.

The Aftermath

In the

O(+>

Aftermath

O(+>

Nothing adds up

O(+>

The equations are many --The waiting is tough

O(+>

Official reports say so little-- Unnamed sources add to the riddle

O(+>

News papers report---While the websites retort

O(+>

The 

O(+>

Aftermath 

O(+>

plays out like a mystery --A game of clue, except this soul made history

O(+>

No matter the outcome, no matter the past

O(+>

I wish there were no

O(+>

Aftermath

😢

Eye was not alone

Far from alone 

All my children with me

Thousands marched around 

Others danced or swooned 

Makin papa proud

In that elevator -- it was no empty room 

The beautiful ones smiled 

While Anastesia held her hands beneath my head 

We Raved unto the joy fantastic

Hand in hand we Walked in Sand

With starfish and coffe playing mellow

Blue limousine was there all colored in Yellow

Took me 2 graffiti bridge and saw that reason 2 believe 

Felt so beautiful love and blessed

Six was blasting but was overtaken by 7

Perfect harmonies dreamin about u 

Whispering Eye wish u heaven 

So take heart and smile my Fams

4 I was far from  alone 

Love 2the 9s held my left hand 

While beautiful strange held my right

In peace I punched that higher floor 

This was not music this was a trip

1000 hugs and kisses embraced my soul

Into the light

Now all is alright.

On my heels

Death is chasing me it's on my heels
with each step it races for me
But I dont stand still
It's chasing my family and those I call friends
Relentless and victorious
it always wins.....

Sometimes I can feel its breath on my neck
I turn around , nothing is there, then turn back

I hear the screams of those of the past
clutching out , arms stretched, fingers cramped

A better place? maybe yes maybe not

Keep on moving, keep on striving, keep on dancing, keep on writing, keep on keeping on.
Hoping death passes me by.....sees me busy and gives up.   Wont try.

When your young and carefree, death is unknown , a far off place
Ive seen how the trees get old , die, rot, then gone without a trace

Death is chasing me ,  It's on my heels again 
With each step it's racing 4 me I know one day it'll win

But I won't stand still nor live in fear nor hate or steal

But only feel and wheel and deal the love , love heals

Keep on loving, keep on hugging, keep on beating to the drum in your heart

Take a chance, do your dance, flaunt your pants, best time is now to start

Because Death is chasing and on our heels,,,,

I wish it wasn't,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,real.

The Soundtrack 2 My Life

Since the age of 13, there has been a constant soundtrack playing as I walked and lived my life.  The music of Prince. 

With his passing on to the next world a very big part of me died too.  If you have known me closely or even from afar, you have either heard the purple music around me,,,or saw something and maybe were taken aback at first. Thinking to yourself ...Prince? Really.   

 His death today has hit me hard., how hard. I don’t even know yet. But my gut hurts. My hands are shaking. Today people texted me, called, posted on my social media, condolences and well wishes...positive messages.  When they heard the news they thought of me.WOW. I am honored. 

  

In my life it seemed like he never let me down. The timing of his albums being released, or the content of the material always seemed to hit me at the right moment or take me to a place that helped me somehow.  There was a connection.

For me it has always been about the music. Always will be.  Take everything else: the videos, movies, make up, his symbol, dancing, costumes,posters,t shirts or fan collectibles.. whatever.---It is nothing without the music. The musicianship.  The sound. The lyrics.  The versatility.  He did it all. Rock,Pop,Jazz,Funk,R&B,..love songs, nasty songs, songs that blew your mind, eccentric songs.. whimsical,funky, other worldly! The music spoke to me. The soundtrack to my life since I was 13 yrs old. And it never stopped.  NEVER.  It goes way past purple rain, past the songs most people have heard.  Deeper.  

Driven,crazy,upbeat,eccentric,electrical,positive,confusing,metaphysical. 

.All this  music I have memorized, collected, smiled to, danced to, ,,,music that made me think deeper, inspired me, moved me, ....influenced my way of thinking, helped me learn about myself. Challenged me. Taught me it was okay to be different. Helped me accept others who were considered different. It was the Soundtrack to my life.

Prince and I have went through alot together.  Good times, hard times, best of times....worst times.   

 My parents Divorce (Purple Rain).  He was there the summer I moved from the Midwest to Texas (BatmanSoundtrack), my job losses and financial struggles (Chaos and Disorder)--When my first daughter was born (The Most Beautiful Girl in the World/Gold Experience), during my renewed faith and relationship with GOD (Emancipation/Crystal Ball), getting married (The Rainbow Children).

I credit him for my weird daring creative side because my formative teen years were spent digesting Parade/Sign of the Times/Lovesexy. 

Wait, -- LoveSexy!!  There I was walking into the record store in 1988 (I was 17 years old) to buy that album the first day it was out-- like I did all of his releases and he is stark naked on the cover.  Damn, Prince put me in a tight spot again...stares. People stared at him.  They stared at me. We were weird we were different.  Dare to be different he taught me. Believe me since my teenage years I've been scoffed at more times than I remember for being a Prince admirer. 

A long time ago Prince said "life is death without adventure and adventure only comes to those of us willing to be daring and take chances."  I've always remembered that.  He took chances. He put himself out there. He is a musical genius but more than that he WORKED at it.  People don't realize how much he worked...It takes work to get to his level.  His musical versatility is unmatched.  Have you heard his Madhouse albums?  Instrumental jazz fused jam sessions?  Most don't realize that my blog "2 whomever it may concern" is in fact a title to a Prince song. 

Go listen to Wasted Kisses, Joy In Repitition, Electric Intercourse, Purple Rain (yeah you know that one).  Those are songs I love. I have no favorite song. I have 1000,00's of songs to choose from. Though he has left this world,  his soundtrack will still play on....................... .